LESSON OBJECTIVES:

— Write an arresting story opening (TLW 5)

— Use a range of narrative devices to involve the reader (TLW 7)

RESOURCES

Mini-whiteboards, thin pens & erasers

Opening & technique cards for each pair

OHP and OHTs (OverHead Transparencies) of cards & Trencher Hill

4 A4 handouts of Trencher Hill

Starter (10-15 minutes)

— Draw attention to the word, “arrest”; ask what the French for “stop” is (arreter); point out derivation.

— Hand out story opening and technique cards (see sheet for cutting up).

— Ask pairs to place each technique card next to the opening card that BEST exemplifies the technique.

— Take feedback by asking individuals to come forward and draw arrows to show the best fit between openings and techniques. Use OHT for this.

— Ask pairs to rank order the openings in terms of how arresting they are. Record on the board the number of first choices for each opening.

— Ask why the “winning” opening is particularly effective. (It might well use more than one of the techniques.)

Main (15 minutes)

— Direct attention back to the objectives.

— Have they read any stories/novels, seen any films that have particularly gripping openings?

— Remind class of the opening techniques they have experienced in this lesson.

— Show OHT of opening of The Secret of Trencher Hill. Read it aloud to the class.

— ESTABLISH CONVENTIONS: Ask the pairs to look at their technique cards and select those that apply to this opening.

— Get individuals to come out and underline parts of the text and label them with the relevant technique.

— Review what they have done and draw attention to other techniques used in the passage.

— MODEL: Now continue writing the story (see guidance), thinking aloud about why you are writing what you are writing.

— SHARE: Ask the class for suggestions for the next few lines. “Filter” these suggestions, explaining your own choices where appropriate. Preferably use a scribe (possibly an able pupil) during this part of the lesson.

Development (10 minutes)

— Ask pairs to continue the story, writing on one mini-whiteboard between them.

— During this time you should work with one group of 6-8, each of whom will have their own whiteboard. With a less able group you should break the process into short, simple stages, reviewing the work as they go: watch carefully and intervene when necessary. Start by giving pairs within the group a copy of the opening of The Secret of Trencher Hill and asking them to underline things they KNOW from the opening. Limit them to three things. Following discussion, ask them to underline three bits that they can deduce something from. Model each step.

Plenary/Review (7 minutes)

— Get students to read out their story continuations.

— Get other students to comment on the effectiveness of the writing and how justifiable the continuation is in terms of what happened in the text up to that point.

— Ask the readers to explain HOW they have tried to involve the reader.

— Return the class’ attention to the objectives and briefly review what has been learnt.

— Finally, ask them to evaluate the opening of The Secret of Trencher Hill. Would they read it all? Tell them you wrote it yourself!

Buddy stole the money from his mother’s purse just before he left for school.

Buddy by Nigel Hinton

          Start with something very odd

Parents are embarrassing.

Take my dad. Every time a friend comes to stay the night he does something that makes my face go red.

A Mouthful by Paul Jennings

          Use direct speech

“I don’t care if your friend Darren has a python, a cockatoo and a marmoset monkey,” said mum, “the answer’s still no.”

Jake’s Magic by Alan Durant

          Start in the middle of something

Alison lingered over packing her last case, as if she could postpone the moment of departure.

The Coal House by Andrew Taylor

          Make your reader laugh

A cold, wet day in December. The worst kind of day for the backlands. The clouds were so low they seemed to trail their mists in the tree-tops and already, at half past three, it was dark within the forest.

The Giant Under the Snow by John Gordon

          Talk to your reader: use first person narrative

The moment that the bus moved on he knew he was in danger, for by the lights of it he saw the figures of the young men waiting under the tree.

The Wasteland by Alan Paton

          Shock your reader

When Bill Simpson woke up on Monday morning, he found he was a girl. He was standing, staring at himself in the mirror, quite baffled, when his mother swept in.

“Why don’t you wear this pretty pink dress?” she said.

Bill’s New Frock by Anne Fine

          Create a tense atmosphere

“Angus Solomon,” sighed Ms Lowry. “Is that a penis drawn in your exercise book?”

Bumface by Morris Gleitzman

          Create a very clear picture

The Secret of Trencher’s Hill

It heaved up out of the darkness, a darker shape against the darkening sky. If ever there was a time to run, then this was it. But they couldn’t run: they couldn’t move; they couldn’t even breathe. Sarah’s fingers dug deeply into David’s arm in horror. Slowly but steadily the shape swelled until its ragged outline loomed over them, the light wind brushing and blurring its furry edges.

“It’s alive!” Sarah finally gasped. “What have we done?” But David only shook his head slightly. At last he knew the secret of Trencher’s Hill, and now he understood what the old man had meant when he had warned them not to mess with the past…

The teacher should now model a continuation of the story, thinking aloud.

They might continue The Secret of Trencher’s Hill in this way…

…Well, it was too late now: Benkan had risen from her sleep and was now very much alive.

“Come on, we have to warn Toby!” David snapped at Sarah. He pulled her round so that they were facing the comforting twinkle of street lamps from down in the valley. Now they ran, tripping over old tires and dumped fridges, desperate to return to the sane, familiar world below. But they had not got far when from behind them came an angry, disappointed growl.

Now share a continuation of the story with the class.

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Richard Durant

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